As a counsellor one of my main approaches to therapy comes from the perspective of Family Systems theory. I see each person and their dilemma as going beyond the individual, rather, through the frame of systems theory, we are inextricably linked to and a product of our family of origin and our upbringing . Being a part of any family has its inevitable patterns and models of behavior. We learn first and foremost from our environment and the people closest to us. This goes even beyond our immediate family to the generations before us. Drawing on these insights, I will look at the history of losses, relationship dynamics as well as the stories that have been passed down through generations. I will also look at how a family copes with crisis, and what deeply embedded family “rules” of conduct may be operating or interfering with your growth.
Family Systems theory gives us a framework for how the early relationships we formed as children with our care-givers and siblings contribute to the dynamics that play out in our present-day relationships, particularly with intimate partners. This way of seeing yourself and how you relate to the world offers you the chance to change your perceptions and your behaviors, by empowering you to chose who you want to be in the middle of a struggle. Often this choice involves doing the opposite of what your anxiety or fear-based reaction is telling you to do. With enough awareness and a willingness to do your own personal healing work, I believe everyone is capable of having healthy, fulfilling and loving relationships.
Other techniques that I draw from are Gestalt therapy, Jungian therapy, Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), Person-centered therapy, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, Narrative therapy and Attachment theory, as well as the Transpersonal Perspective; which involves seeing the human experience as being all aspects of the emotional, mental, physical and spiritual and how these are all interconnected to form a greater whole. In general I will use the counselling techniques that are best suited for each session and each individual or couple based on their unique set of needs.
Counselling can allow you to become an active participant in your own life and healing process., where in a sense, you become the composer of your own story. We can't change the things that happen to us, but we can change how we chose to react to these events and situations.
As a counsellor, I focus on the areas in people’s lives where they feel stuck. The idea being that wherever there is resistance or emotional pain there is also an opportunity and a stepping stone for growth . Painful experiences, though difficult, can be seen as opportunities for learning , which can help facilitate a process of expansion and connection.
“Every situation, properly perceived, becomes an opportunity to heal.”