The natural grieving process is unique and sacred to each individual, and it is not something that can be rushed, nor does it follow any linear path. Grief is not an experience that should be avoided or pushed aside. For many people facing their grief can be one of the most challenging things they will ever do.
One way or another we all face losses in our lives, be it a loss in identity, loss of an important relationship, loss of a job, or the loss of someone we love dearly. These losses are inevitable at some point in our lives. The way to get through these periods is to allow yourself to enter the grieving process in an authentic and gentle way. This requires courage, willingness and trust. Avoiding our grief or minimizing it can have long term consequences, as the grief never really disappears - if we don't face it head on it will show up in other ways. We can't live fully without experiencing the cost of being human, that we all lose something we love at some point in our lives.
Part of what I offer my clients is help with accessing their grief, often by simply embracing it. So much energy can be spent trying to avoid it or push it aside, that when we actually turn towards our grief and really feel it, wonderful things can happen. The long and short of it is: grief is messy. But it is also necessary and at the end of the painful feelings lies a beauty and a joy that I don't think is possible to attain any other way. I speak from personal experience around my own lessons in dealing with the loss of my mother at the age of 28. Nothing could have prepared me for the sense of loss and sadness that I struggled with for months, even years afterwards. And in walking head on into the grief I was also offered many gifts. There is also joy to be had with the grief and a sense of empowerment in accepting the waves of feelings that follow the experience of losing someone we love.
“Grief does not change you. It reveals you.”
― John Green
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